When I was in my first year of primary school I fell in the playground and cut my knee up pretty bad. I still have the scar. It was the first deep cut I ever had and I watched the healing process with fascination. At first there was Germolene and gauze and big fat plasters. [...]
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21 Days of Gentleness: Day 8 – I’m Not Ready
The TV show GamesMaster used to make my stomach churn. We’d watch it every Tuesday evening before swimming. I liked to swim but I hated going to those group swimming lessons. There were so many kids, most of whom I didn’t know, the teachers spent the whole time screaming in an attempt to keep this [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 7 – The Vote
I made an extended trip to the US in 2015 and as a result wasn’t around to vote in the general election. I tried to arrange a postal vote or a proxy but despite my best efforts I couldn’t make it work. I still feel guilty about it. I am very aware that people fought [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 6 – Other People’s Secrets
Some parents have to worry about their child running off when they go out but when I was a kid I was practically stuck to my mother’s leg. Shy doesn’t begin to describe it. Even into my teenage years I would protest if I was sent into the shop alone to buy a loaf of [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 5 – Hurt
At first I thought it was blue tape on their fingers, the Masterchef contestants, but eventually I realised it was blue plasters. Whether they’re amateurs or professionals, the chefs on TV always seem to be covered in plasters on their fingers and burns on their hands and arms. I’m not a great cook. I can [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 4 – Her House
I think my aunt’s house is where I noticed it first. But the first time I consciously fixated on it was when I began regularly going to my best friend’s house after I started primary school. Everyone’s house had a distinct smell. As unique as a fingerprint. But our house didn’t have a smell I [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 3 – Masculinity
There was plenty of talk about business around our kitchen table when I was younger. Both my grandfathers had their own businesses and my dad followed the same path. When my eldest brother finished university and was entering the world of work my dad gave him a book called Rich Dad Poor Dad about understanding [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 2 – Not Pretending
I was slow on the uptake with Cheryl Strayed. My friend recommended her writing to me years ago but it wasn’t until much more recently that I started following her work. Her most famous book is her memoir, Wild – you might have seen the movie version starring Reese Witherspoon. But my favourite is a [...]
21 Days of Gentleness: Day 1 – Shameful Positivity
When I first began questioning things in my life I started reading business and self-help books. I was in my early twenties and up until this point I had laughed at people who read that kind of stuff. ‘Who needs a book to tell them how to live their life?’ I thought. Evidently I did. [...]
You’re Not In A War. You’re In A Community.
I will never forget the interview I had for my job in the record shop. I sat in the office with the owner as a basement full of men worked on the other side of the door. The sound of shouting and grunting interrupted our conversation. The owner sighed, “We don’t have any women working [...]