“Where are you from?” I had just sold him a couple of second-hand Joy Division 7 inches. He’d been in the shop a good half hour and hadn’t asked me a single question as I’d fetched him various records to listen to. But now that he had his records in his bag and his change [...]

I felt very familiar with death during my childhood. The final one that capped off two decades of regular diagnoses and deaths of close family members was that of my aunt, Mary P, who felt like a lot more than just an aunt; she did a lot of mothering of me. I was talking to [...]

Growing up I thought I had a charmed life because we had 6 TV channels to choose from. 2 Irish channels and 4 UK channels. I felt so sorry for the kids who didn’t live minutes from the border. Those poor sods in Antrim or in England with only 4 channels, and even poorer souls [...]

I remember my mother saying that when she got my grandfather’s death certificate the list of contributory factors on it were as long as your arm. He essentially died of old age and had been living with many of the ailments on his death certificate for years. I was very young when his deteriorating eye [...]

The day before Halloween, 1993. It was a Saturday and I’d spent the evening trick or treating with my best friend around her neighbourhood. We’d rushed to the house that was famous for its toffee apples, secured two, and then filled our bags going door-to-door at our leisure. We were back home, sitting on the [...]

Our daughter’s at an age where her natural inclinations and abilities are starting to show. She threw a ball to me the other day that nearly took my head off. She has similar power and precision in her feet. I could kick a ball from a young age too. Playing football – soccer – was [...]

I had a bit of an obsession with the news when I was a kid. My brothers and cousins and I used to pretend to run a newspaper and a radio station. We once won a fiver on a local radio phone-in competition, maybe that had something to do with it. In the midst of [...]

This is the final instalment of the 21 Days of Gentleness. The last 21 days have not been a direct path. This series has not been an orderly and coherent examination of gentleness and how it plays out (or fails to) in my work and life. Rather I’ve been feeling around the edges of it [...]

I ’ve never been great at small talk, which kinda fits in my work because the conversations I have with people go deep fast. When I consult with a client, even if it’s just a one-off session for a couple of hours, I usually have them send me their life story in 10-15 bullet points [...]