This is the final instalment of the 21 Days of Gentleness. The last 21 days have not been a direct path. This series has not been an orderly and coherent examination of gentleness and how it plays out (or fails to) in my work and life. Rather I’ve been feeling around the edges of it and I’m just about beginning to get a sense of its outline.
I have realised this: the secret I keep from myself is that I am most authentic and most sane when I am fiercely and unapologetically gentle with myself and others. I first understood this during pregnancy. When I was sick and tired and responsible for the tiny life growing inside me all of my usual coping mechanisms failed me. This was something I couldn’t hustle my way through so instead I surrendered into gentleness. For the first time in my adult life I had my priorities straight.
And you know what? When gentleness reigned I didn’t dissolve into a lazy mess and lose my edge like I feared I would. I turned out pretty much the same amount of work. I was rested and well. My bullshit filter was through the roof and my life was better for it. No one messes with a pregnant mama.
I’ve tried to retain the wisdom I gained during pregnancy and embody it. But it’s difficult. When I was pregnant gentleness and vulnerability embodied me; it was much easier that way round.
I said at the beginning of this whole series I had a sneaking suspicion the solution to all of our problems is to be gentle with ourselves and others. That suspicion has only grown over the last four weeks.
I’ve come to think of the gentleness of which I speak as a fierce gentleness. It’s not some passive thing that will be pushed around and dominated.
Gentle does not mean weak. It means vulnerable strength.
Gentle does not mean submissive. It means authentic power.
Gentle does not mean fragile. It means courageous resilience.
We are most ourselves and most brave when we move through the world with fierce gentleness.
